BETTER? Not really!

My 27th birthday is in exactly a week and i have made it a tradition to make the whole week special. I take time to fast and pray, reflect on the year that has been, evaluate my life, give thanks, make some changes, reinforce the good etc. The first day of this process is already so heavy!

It’s been a great year. I can use one word to describe it: NEW! I have met so many new people, i visited a new country, i got totally new experiences, i quit my job, I got to know God in a totally new way, became an auntie to the most adorable boy in the world, fell in love….NEW! NEW! NEW!

New is good. It grows us and is proof that we are alive; that we are still growing and learning. I have learned though that new can also be destructive. There has to be a link and a balance between all you are learning and adopting and all you have learned and been in the past.

The new I encountered was powerful! So powerful that it threatened to topple me over. This is dangerous. It should add to me and make me better. It should not erode me. It should not make me feel small. Change should sharpen you not make you blunt and ineffective. That is the positive kind of change. If you feel confused and overwhelmed then it could be a sign that you need to slow down and remember who you are.

You my friend did not just appear from thin air. You are a product of everyone and everything you have encountered in your life. All your experiences are important. They make you the unique vessel that if surrendered to God will reach many that only you can reach. There are changes in the world that ONLY you can make. By no means should we dwell in the past. That is not my point. My point is that you matter. Your experiences matter. Bad, good, even terrible. They can all look beautiful depending on where you are looking from! 🙂

We are here now. Don’t let anyone convince you that their past is better than yours. Better is a wrong concept. What is BETTER? What does that even mean? I have grown to loathe comparisons. How can we compare each other’s lives? How? We are all so unique. So beautiful. So great. Comparison is the source of all pride, hate and low self worth in the world. Do YOU! Your circumstances may not have been perfect but they are what you got. Appreciate what you got from them and thrive. Let other people from the same messes see how you blossomed despite the thorns. Also, no one’s life has been perfect. I know this for a fact! No one’s life is perfect. PERFECT is a theory! Live your own life. Stay on your lane! Run YOUR race. You are the perfect candidate for a wonderful life. You are the  perfect candidate for a phenomenal finish!

I thank God for my life! I thank God for my family, they are truly some of the most amazing people in the world. I thank God for my upbringing, for the primary school i went to that no one knows about, for the lessons i have gathered in life, for all the wonderful and even strange friends i have had over the years, for math, for the church i went to most of my life, for the fears and losses, for lack and abundance, for youth camps, for heartbreaks, for art and art school, for straight hair and locks and afros, for k south and racecource and eastleigh and buru buru, for korea, for syracuse and finland, for AIC Ziwani sunday school, for Word of Life camp, for the love and exposure to beautiful and diverse music, for kitenge and my fashion journey, for nairobi west, for Kiilu and Juma and Simo and Baraka, for Orange and Mwango and Anuj and Aggie and Vincent, for cakes and cards, for Daystar, for Narok and missions, for Waihiga, for bs, for tears, for once being overweight, for Altars of Incense and VOW……Whaaaaat?!!! I thank God for Jesus. He remained constant through it all!!

That represents different random things that flood my brain as I think about where i have come from. It’s rich and crazy and beautiful too.

You are the perfect candidate for a wonderful finish!!!!! Your experiences matter! Your uniqueness matters! BETTER and PERFECT don’t exist! God loves you, ALL of you! Don’t forget that!

Love,
Ndanu.