Purpose

My heart is full today. I am waiting on God so much. It is all I can do now. He spoke specific things to me a while back but there is little physical evidence of it right now. I am tempted to give up and just believe the enemy’s lie that this is as good as it gets! I will not do that though. I ask for strength to get through the day every morning and the Lord gives me exactly that. I used to hear the phrase ‘a day at a time’ but now I understand it completely. I am living it every single day. I enjoy today, I listen today, I laugh today… because tomorrow is so uncertain. Thoughts of tomorrow let alone 5 years from now are simply depressing at this time in my life. ALL my plans have not worked out and this has left me scared of planning. I need direction and in this season I keep asking God what He wants with my life. I ask him severally everyday. Many think that a good job is all we need in this life but I have one yet I want more! I want things that money cannot buy. I want to know the purpose for which God created me! I want to know this so much that it keeps me up late at night. I am gifted in many things but I want to give my hours, my energies, my emotions, my resources, my LIFE to God’s purposes for me. People tell me that I am a worshiper so i should sing and lead worship more often, others tell me that I am an artist so I should use my hands to create, others tell me that I am a mathematician since I am very good in math, others say I would be perfect as a pastor’s wife because I am prayerful and patient, many think I should be a writer because of this blog, still others think I should be a designer and fashion consultant because of my love for fabric, color and fashion. Blah blah blah! GOD!! It’s all so confusing! Lord, who do you say that I am?

The happiest, most fulfilled and powerful person is one who knows why he was created and in turn lives out this purpose(s) every single day of his life. There is no greater discovery than the discovery of one’s purpose! Purpose is not a destination but a journey. It’s a compass for everyday living!!!!

Telescope on Map

I have many around me who are aligned to God’s purposes for them and I see daily how favor surrounds them. They seem to have this purpose thing all figured out. I will not say that life is easy for them but every challenge is worth it and God keeps fighting wars for them and lighting the path they walk on. Things seem to always work out somehow and they seem to be forging forward instead of going round in circles! πŸ™‚ They have a radiance and a strength that is peculiar! I know an amazing African history teacher, I know a pianist who brings heaven down every time he plays, I know an amazing Psychologist who counsels people like her life depends on it, I know an amazing Pastor specifically gifted with the prophetic gift, I know another amazing Pastor specifically gifted with the worship ministry, I know a Pastor gifted with a crazy intercessor’s heart, I know a young wife created and called to teach very young kids in their first years of school, I know a young man created to work as a data analyst and he is so good at that job, I know a photographer who is simply a miracle worker where taking photos is concerned…. All these people are living out Yahweh’s purposes and the jobs may be ordinary but my friends do them extraordinarily well because they were born to do them. In fact they graduate from just being their jobs to being their LIFE.

All of us were created to be spectacular individuals if only we will allow God to lead us into His purposes for our lives. Are you unhappy with your job? Do you feel empty inside at the end of every day? Do you feel lost and tired all the time? Do you feel like you are lacking something but you cannot place a finger on what it is? You are probably living someone else’s life or trying to be what you are not. Join me in this journey of self discovery. Ask God to show you what he had in mind while he knit you together in your mother’s womb. Your specific combination of gifts, likes and dislikes, temperaments, interests, experiences and even physical attributes were not just random! You were KNIT together wonderfully! Only you can live your life in its fullness!! πŸ™‚ May we find fulfillment, joy and abundant life as we start to walk in rhythm with His plans for us.

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Psalm 139:13
For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb.

We walk!

Love,

Ndanu

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Mars and Jupiter

I live in two worlds that are extremely different. The differences between my worlds stretch me so much that I stagger sometimes. Drank in the mixed feelings, varied beliefs and behaviours, mashed up realities…. Today though, the staggering has stopped, maybe momentarily, so I will enjoy the moment and soak in everything from this beautiful soberness. Alco-blow got nothing on me!! Haha! πŸ˜€

World 1 is composed of men who cheat on their wives and girlfriends and even brag about it. Women who consider being cheated on as the norm and enter into relationships expecting it. Grown women who sleep with young boys 😦 Women who have no idea what a responsible man looks like because they have never seen one… not even their fathers! 😦 Men who think women are foolish and emotional sexual objects. Men who enjoy leading many women on and flirting with them but never committing to any. Women who feed and survive on the attention of men. They love it when men drool over their bodies and they would never wear an outfit again if they wore it once and no man commented or stared. Men who stand for nothing! I think this is the worst of all, Men Who Stand For Nothing. One of such men insulted me this week when I spoke up against injustice in the office! I was thrown off because my other world represents a totally different scenario….

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My world 2 is what I call amazing. It is full of conscious men and women. Prayerful men and women who believe in God, in righteousness and in justice. Men who are totally faithful to their women. Women who were taught to take care of their homes. Women who, when necessary, are willing to drop everything and follow their husbands. Husbands who are walking in purpose and truth. Men who are worth dropping everything for. Men who once ran after a matatu driver who hit a kid and fled off trying to run away from the crime scene. They caught the driver and made sure he took the child to hospital. Men and Women who love themselves, their roots and who value humanity. Men and Women driven by LOVE! Ubuntu! Men and Women who seek to live life to the full, to smell the flowers, to value what is really important in this life. Men and Women with struggles just like everyone else but who keep hope alive and remain positive!

One of these women is leaving her family and quitting her job to go with her husband to the states. They have been married for less than a year and the man got a scholarship to study there. This is one of the most amazing things I have ever seen. Mind you, she has a very well paying job and she is very close to her family but she is dropping it all. I asked her a few weeks ago how she is able to do that and what she told me amazed me. She said, β€˜Thing is, the man I am doing this with is so amazing!’ She explained that he is so trustworthy, so faithful to God and to her, so passionate…. God has confirmed time and time again that He is with her man and this makes being a helper so much easier. He trusts God so it is easy to trust him! πŸ™‚ So encouraging!!!

I must say that my 1st world is so discouraging. I cannot ignore these people because I work with most of them from Monday to Friday. I have to remind myself that as much as that is a real world, I also have another reality. One of a truly powerful and purposeful life! People in world 2 are not very many. There are few men in my generation who can lead their homes because they believe in nothing and value nothing. There are many homes with no direction. Today more than ever I hope that there is a man out there who will be worth dropping everything for. A man who I can support with my gifts and the anointing placed on me and together live out God’s purpose for us! A man who knows His God and yearns to follow Him! Tonight I pray for our men, our fathers, our sons, our brothers! We love them and we need them!!

A lost man = A lost world (Call it old school, I call it true!!)
Keeping hope alive!!Β Β Β Β Β