And life keeps laughing at me…..

He accidentally hit his coffee and it poured onto his laptop. The laptop blinked at him as it slowly died off. Any day is a bad day to have your computer die on you but this was the worst day ever for such an occurrence. Njeru was having a bad day. He had enlisted for a competition to take photos of the new President Uhuru Kenyatta. The president had just been sworn in and photos were needed for the usual Presidential portrait. Today was the deadline for the entrants to submit a copy of their best work yet. Njeru had been unable to decide which photo to submit until the night before this deadline. He woke up early to scrutinize it one final time before submitting it to the Presidential PR Board. He made himself some coffee before sitting on the computer and that’s when he hit the mug as he settled down to open the photo and send it. He was sure it was his nervousness that had caused this tragedy. It felt like a tragedy for sure.

coffee-on-laptop

Njeru was 40 years old. He had been a renowned photographer in his younger years but the money and fame got into his head. He left his beautiful wife of 5 years for a model he was working with and then started living recklessly. He drank too much and started doing drugs. This lifestyle nearly drove him to the grave and one day he enrolled himself into rehab. He was broke because his irresponsible lifestyle had cost him all his clients. Everyone who knew him a few years back could not even recognize him. The addictions had taken a toll on him.

Rehab helped him and when he left he was determined to make something of his life. He had been sober for a full year and was delving into photography again. He was elated when he discovered that he still had the gift after all these years. Hope was rising in his heart and things were looking up. When he heard about this presidential portrait opportunity he knew it would be the big break he needed to get back with the big leagues. Getting this job would not only mean taking photos of the Presidential portrait but also every other photo of the President and his family during his presidency.

He sat there with his head in his hands trying not to panic. He craved a bottle of Jameson……

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Perfect Love Song

I cannot get enough of this version of this song. It will be playing on repeat in my house tonight! Please listen to it.

Maybe I should do my own version of it…. ๐Ÿ™‚

Who is like You Lord in all the earth?
Matchless love and beauty, endless worth
Nothing in this world can satisfy
‘Cause Jesus You’re the cup that won’t run dry

Your presence is heaven to me
Your presence is heaven to me

Treasure of my heart and of my soul
In my weakness you are merciful
Redeemer of my past and present wrongs
Holder of my future days to come

Your presence is heaven to me
Your presence is heaven to me
Heaven to me, God

Oh Jesus, Oh Jesus
Your presence is heaven to me
Oh Jesus, Oh Jesus
Your presence is heaven to me

All my days on earth I will await
The moment that I see You face to face
Nothing in this world can satisfy
‘Cause Jesus You’re the cup that won’t run dry
‘Cause Jesus You’re the cup that won’t run dry
You never run dry

Your presence is heaven to me
Your presence is heaven to me
Lord your presence is heaven to me
Your presence is heaven to me

Oh Jesus, Oh Jesus
Your presence is heaven to me
Oh Jesus, Oh Jesus
Your presence is heaven to me

Love,
Ndanu

He rained all over my parade

I met these amazing writers on facebook. One started a story and 2 sequels from different people already.
First find links to Part 1, 2 and 3 here https://beautifulrumi.wordpress.com/2014/08/14/he-rained-all-over-my-parade/
I was challenged to do Part 4. Pressure!!! ๐Ÿ™‚ Here goes….

Jay seemed not to have noticed us yet. He looked so handsome and somewhat desperate as his eyes searched for me in the restaurant. I felt so childish standing with Ken’s arms around me. A stupid and confused child! I was mad at Jay for treating me so badly just a few minutes ago but some part of me still loved him a lot!

Everything seemed to be moving so fast in my brain. I started to remember why Ken and I had decided to go our different ways those many years ago….
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Ken was like the wind. He was a free spirit.ย  Too free I think. You see, he was a free lance photographer. He had never had a ‘proper’ job in his life. He insisted that we were young so we should travel the world. He was a dreamer and though this was intriguing to a naive 20 year old girl, it gave me no hope of a solid future. He would take a bus to a random town, a boat to the next, sleep in open fields watching the stars, bath in rivers and little hotels and eat with different families he met in his escapades. He called himself Zaka, a child of the earth. I was madly in love with him but I weighed the option of a life with him and decided against it.

Jay on the other hand was like fire. He was focused and got things done. I found him more logical and of course my parents would accept him better than Ken. A ‘normal’ man. He was harsh though…. A bit rough and unromantic. I was not head over heels when we got married but I grew fond of him. He took care of me but we had no bond. We became strangers with the passing of years… more of house mates than lovers. He was a jerk but still, he had come back with a big bunch of my favorite flowers! The father of my 2 sons!

I agree that with Ken, i felt like I could fly. The opportunities were endless and life was without limits! Plus, he always called me BEAUTIFUL!!! With Jay I was incomplete but stable. I was sure about tomorrow. Life had some steadiness to it…some solidity…some soberness.What was I going to do?

Jay had seen me now. He looked stunned at the sight of Ken but he started walking towards us….

My heart was beating hard!!!

IN-sight

I wrote this piece like 3 years ago. I was bored during one of my classes in uni. It was long before I knew I could write…. Just found the piece of paper I wrote on and I am amazed ๐Ÿ™‚ Not too bad. Enjoy ๐Ÿ™‚
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My colors may be bright
My hair done all right
My smile all white
But inside may be dark night
In need of God’s light
To fly to kite’s height.
Learn to look inside
Far beyond the outside
Because truth is I may not show it.
I wish you could admire
What’s in there
Because it’s deeper
And richer and
Lasts longer than
Just what you see.
It’s hidden treasure
For only those that dare
to look that far.
Then maybe you can say
Like Adam
Bone of my Bone first
Then Flesh of my Flesh last!
Adam had IN-sight!
Bless you Adam
Eve was blessed of all women ๐Ÿ™‚
Lord grant our generation
IN-sight.

I have no idea what inspired this piece ๐Ÿ™‚
Love,
Ndanu.

Long Distance

I have had to have long distance relationships severally in my life. Once when I was in Korea for a year and later with my brother and dad away for several years… It is not easy to keep relationships with family, friends and significant others going when you are miles apart. Both parties have to consciously decide to make an effort to make it work. I remember having to take in my sorroundings and things happening to me more keenly because I would have to narrate them to my people in detail.
Details are important in long distance communication because you must all try to bring the other party into your situation as much as possible.
All this is difficult but with all the technology around us, everything has become much easier.

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My brother and his wife have left Kenya for the next several years. We are thus back to skype sessions, constant emails, frequent whatsapp chats and all that stuff. I just enjoyed reading a mail from them. I ate it up like sweet candy, trying to picture the scenariosย  and people in the stories.
The journey has began and I am psyked and determined to make it work.
Strength to everyone reading this who has to maintain a long distance relationship! It shall be well ๐Ÿ™‚
Love conquers even distance!!!!

Love,
Ndanu

If I were a boy….

There are times…..
Times when a reckless arrogant driver makes a wrong u-turn in town and comes right at me. I am walking to my matatu terminal after a long day when he comes very close to the pedestrian walk.ย  I think he is going to stop but he doesn’t.ย  He keeps coming until the matatu nearly touches my skin. I stop and look at his face. He has this grim grin on his face. I think of throwing insults at him but I click, turn and walk on. He shouts after me and says, “I can hit you and run you over and there is nothing you can do!” I am clinching my fists by now with anger and my feet slow down as I think of turning back but I walk away. They say that the wise thing to do in such a situation is to walk away…. I did not feel very wise that day but I guess wise is not always (if ever) a rosy feeling!

Times when a tout is forcing an old lady to alight before her stop because he has suddenly decided that her stop ain’t a stop anymore.ย  That stop is an official stop and matatus stop there everyday but not today! ๐Ÿ˜ฆ She tries to protest but he tells her harshly to alight! No one in the matatu says anything! She alights and I can see the bitterness in her eyes. I am shaking with anger!

Times when I am walking to my matatus again after a very long day. I am with my girl and we are deep in conversation when this smelly man calling out for people to board his matatu gets hold of my arm. I shake my head in the usual, ‘I am not boarding this one’ and try to keep walking. He is not letting my arm go and instead he holds me tighter. I hate him so much at this time and he is actually hurting me by now. I want to hit his groin so bad!!!! I regret giving up taekwondo and most of all I am amazed at how there are so many people passing by but no one notices what is happening with me. Anyway I shake him off with all the strength I have and he finally lets go. I loathe him as I walk away. He is definitely high on something but the nerve!!! What?!!!

Times when I really wish I was a man….

I am sure ladies in nairobi or even Kenya go through this so many times. I have analyzed it each time and I am sure that these hooligans only do such things to women. They have never done the same to a woman who is walking with a man. They take advantage of the ‘weaker’ vessel that women are. This is why sometimes I really wish I was a man. If only I could turn into a man during these incidents! I love being a woman and all but sometimes. …. wah!!
I thank God though that I am not a man because I think I would hurt someone real bad!!!

Such men get away with this craziness because our society has become so individualistic. We pride ourselves in minding our own business while injustices thrive freely. Next time you are present as someone is being harassed let’s speak up…. Our men especially. .. Whether we like it or not,ย  it’s true that a man is priviledged in this regard.

Stand up for your could be sister or mother! We need you!

I on the other hand I’m praying for wisdom to see how I can stand up for justice as a woman. One of the ways is writing this piece….

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Let’s keep walking!

Love,
Ndanu