Singles Prayer!

Someone emailed me this prayer and you will see why I usually say that I know some of the coolest people in the world! Such truthful and refreshing friends.

Singles Prayer

Lord, Sunday evenings have a way of reminding me just how single I am. I usually stare at my phone wishing I was telling Mr. Man about the weekend and the upcoming week. Listening keenly about how his sunday was. Sharing our aspirations for the week ahead and praying that God would go before us. Laughing our heads off on silly ‘inside’ jokes. Telling each other how we love each other and finally saying good night, both of us unable to shake off the anticipation for a time when we will finally get married. A time when there will be no good byes just see you later babie! A time when there will be no good night from a far but good night with his arms around me. A time when we can make love and stop all this chilling business! Lol! Lord you know I can’t wait to see that happening and you glorified in our love making! WHAT?!!! That is something right there!

Lord I keep feeling like he is just around me somewhere. If he is, then give us attraction that is all the way from the spirit to the body. A connection that we will easily recognize! A very rare kind of bond! They say I am a dreamer but Lord I want crazy attraction! Is that Odd Lord? I am already past accepting anyone who is not truly walking in you. That was settled! πŸ˜€ He will be crazy Godly, anointed, responsible, children loving, respectful and all that stuff that you and I have talked about many times! However one more thing I ask is crazy attraction. This might make waiting difficult but that is not negotiable so you Lord will enable us. I trust You Lord! Haha! This prayers of mine must be hilarious to you! πŸ˜€ I hope! :-p

image

Sunday evenings are not too bad because I get to talk to you about them. I will stay strong! I will keep looking to you! I will keep serving you and loving on you!
Bring him soon though and don’t forget the attraction I say! πŸ˜€

I love you Lord!

Your girl,
C.K

Hilarious ey? I really laughed and thought my single friends would resonate like I did.

Strength to us all! πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚

Love,
Ndanu.

Man Enough

I went up country to bury one of my grandfathers yesterday. I came back thinking about men and manhood. See I have never seen my ‘real’ grandfather. He just up and left his wife and family many years ago. The one we buried was his brother.

My mind was wandering at the funeral yesterday as I just sat staring at my grandmother. How did that abandonment make her feel? Did her heart burn up with hurt the day she realised he was not coming back? Did she cry herself to sleep for a full year or something? Did she feel despair at the thought of raising my dad and all his 6 siblings? Was she mad at God? All I could do was wonder because all the years I have known her, she has shown no signs of that painful incident. She is the most joyful and loving woman I know. She loves God to a fault and she has stood by her family without any complaints.

My dad is another one I could not stop thinking about yesterday. His dad was with him the morning before he left. My dad was the first born and probably got to spend more time with him than all the other kids… How did that abandonment feel? How did it mess with him and his worth and his world view? He has been such an amazing dad to us. No proof of not having a father himself! I guess God is truly a father to the fatherless. It’s not a myth.

image

I wonder what made my grandfather run. Maybe it was the pressure of being a man, a husband, a father to 7 children and the responsibility that comes with all these titles. I have grown up with 3 brothers and I have watched them grow from boys to men. The responsibility of being a man is no small thing. Society and family all look up to you. It must feel like the whole world is on your shoulders! You don’t have to carry it all though… God is your father and in him is all strength and wisdom on what it means to be a real man. Let God lead and guide you. Get close to God, Abba Father!

I celebrate and pray for all the men in my life today! I see you doing your best and I celebrate you! You are important! You were not created a man by mistake. You can grow into the FULLNESS of the amazing man that God designed you to be. May God strengthen you, guide you, bless you and carry your burdens today!!

Women celebrate your husbands, your sons and your fathers today and everyday. Pray for them, love on them, respect them and be their peace! πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚

Love,

Ndanu.

Flowers and Comfort

Today I will do both jewellery and dress infor πŸ™‚

I have a friend who is a genius! She is studying veterinary medicine and making jewellery at the same time. Her jewellery line is called Kihuruta. She made these earring for me and they gave such an amazing edge to my look. I look exotic!! Lol!

IMG-20150117-WA0012[1]

Her name is Mukami. She delivers the jewellery to an agreed location and her number isΒ 0720792327. You can also follow this link to her facebook page for pictures of her latest designsΒ  https://www.facebook.com/Kihuruta.designs

The dress was another simple one. I am into short dresses now πŸ™‚ Knee length is my idea of short because maxi is usually my norm πŸ˜€ The design was mine and the fabric too had remained from a maxi skirt i posted a few weeks ago.

IMG-20150117-WA0013[1]

IMG-20150117-WA0007[1]

Fabric – Bought it at Nairobi Textiles for 1800 bob.

Fundi – My usual favorite Esther. She is located next to Equity Donholm and her number is 0731 114371. She charged me 1800 for the dress.

She took 2 weeks to do 2 dresses and I simply looooved this dress! It is so simple and I feel like I can run or even fly in it because of the perfect fit. No uncomfortable cleavage or heavy material hanging anywhere πŸ˜€

All the best as you call up either Mukami or Esther to glam you up!

Love,

Ndanu

Masks Off!

You feel like you are not worth anything because no good man is chasing after you. 30 years and counting and still no signs of a man to marry you.
You settled for the first guy who looked in your direction despite his straying eye and the fishy texts in his phone.
You were dumped after putting so much into that relationship. He dumped you just like that!
You got a baby with a loser who wants nothing to do with you. And baby has his eyes, always looking up at you reminding you how stupid you felt for falling for his lies!!
You were raped on your way home from work or by that man friend when you visited his house.
You gained so much weight after baby came and you hate how you look. He makes it worse by refusing to touch you for more than a year now.
Your boyfriend beats you up but you are afraid if you leave him you will die alone. ‘Where will I get another man?’ You ask yourself…
You just found out you are pregnant with baby number 2 or 3. Different men. They all promised to love you forever but forever has a new -3 month- meaning.
You need something to fill that void inside you. That empty feeling deep inside. You have tried men but even their penises can’t get that deep. You have tried alcohol and the party life but the hollowness goes deeper still.
You crave admiration and approval.
You have tried to dress up….shorter, tighter, show-ier….You have tried to cook your best. You have tried to be the best sex giver.Nothing seems to keep them men or satisfy you.
You laugh loud, give high fives and look like the happiest girl in the world. However you cry yourself to sleep alone at night. You are broken. You weep gently after the new boyfriend ,who is someone’s husband, falls asleep immediately after sexing you rough and quick!
image

So much pain in ladies all over the world!! I sat on the floor of my house and wept so much tonight. My heart and prayers go out to all hurting, lost and messed up ladies tonight! Life can be cruel and yes you have made bad decisions but that is not the end of the story! I know it sounds clichΓ© but your only solution is Jesus. He knows everything about you but He still wants you. He will fill that void inside you. He will teach you how valuable you are. God is your father. He wil heal you and make you whole. He will give you joy and a reason to live! He does not hate you!! He loves you and eagerly waits for you to come to Him every passing day! Please come to Him!!!

You are very valuable!!

Love,
Ndanu.

Calling ain’t eazy beazy

I see people eager to learn baking. I am excited to teach them but I sit and also wonder if they really know what it entails!!

Human beings, we always think the other person’s life is better than ours! We want to have that nice job or house or car or whatever that person we admire has. We forget though that there is a price to pay for everything. The price is different for everyone since we are all different. Let’s think of our individual personalities, callings and purposes as a currency or visa. You can only buy or enter if you have the right currency or visa. Find your country with the visa God gave you at birth. Don’t die or live a miserable life trying to forcefully copy your way into another person’s country! Let’s find ourselves and thriving will be automatic!

A case in point is myself. I have not slept well for the past 2 weeks. I have been baking endlessly and I tell you it can be exhausting! There has been like 6 cakes at a time in my small sitting room. I sincerely can’t stand cake right now. Too much of it around me has become plain yucky! The satisfaction I get however after all the work, is immeasurable! I dream of cake designs and wake up eager to replicate the dreams in my next order. I earned my full rent in one cake job today… so yes baking is awesome but make sure that it is for you because when everything else fails…the glamor, the money, the praise, the orders…only your inborn desire to do what you were born to do drives you! πŸ™‚

This spongy cake fell as I was transferring it to the tray!! I nearly cried!! Sigh!

image

A replacement is in the oven right now. Failure gets me down only for a while because I can’t seem to control my urge to bake. I rise again…. God is great!!
Find your vision and RUN with it!!! :-*

Love,
Ndanu

Wars and petals

I have been having this struggle for a while. Several people I have talked to share the same struggle. Some of you reading this post will also identify with me. I don’t know if it can be explained but I will try….

I am a little crazy when it comes to friendship and love. My ideal friendship is where we give ourselves fully to each other, we are loyal to each other, we are thoughtful towards each other, we defend each other, pray for each other and go the extra mile for each other. Notice the…’each other’, it is a two way. Otherwise a one way is more of charity and not friendship.

Last year and for a chunk of my life, I chose several people and threw my whole heart into loving them and being true to them. I would be there for them and make them feel special. For example for their birthdays I would bake custom made cakes for them, take them out for a good meal and make or buy gifts for them. It was not just random gifts but well thought out gifts that i spent time to think about and choose. I am not rich, I just thought they should know that they are appreciated much and that they are special! Girlfriends and male friends alike…. I think everyone needs to be reminded that they are important! πŸ™‚ I was ready to empty my bank account for them, pick up their calls at 2am and basically drop everything to meet them if they needed me to do that. There came times though when I was in need and very few could return the favor. They would give excuses and this drove me up the wall!!!! I got help from the least expected places. I mean the least!! You can imagine the feeling of wasted efforts on the wrong people…

I have taken time this year to reflect on who I can really count on, in Swahili we say ‘kufa kupona’ (for better or for worse), and I have found that the number is small. The few are not from the circles i expected but I welcome the pleasant surprise.Β  I am also learning to not do things for people expecting anything in return and this is probably what some of you are thinking while you read this πŸ™‚ I agree with this especially because God has loved me so much not because I can give anything in return! He just loves and loves and loves! He is love!! πŸ™‚

Think this through with me though, what happened to virtues like loyalty and faithfulness in our relationships? What happened to having passionate friendships? What happened to the David and Jonathan kind of friendships? Sometimes i feel like believing in the existence of such commitment is like living in a fairy tale or believing in Santa Claus but I can’t help it! That is just who I am and I will hold fast to the few ‘kufa kuponas’ I have. I am grateful for them!! πŸ™‚

Due to my experience above, I have stepped back from several people. It is easier for me to give my salary to a total stranger who is in need than a person in my life who is mean’t to be a ‘kufa kupona’ but they have proven to be otherwise. It has become easier to bake a cake and give it to the mboga guy who salivates every time i say hello to him as I pass by his shop ferrying a cake to a client… than for an ‘average’ friend. I expect nothing in return, he owes me nothing so I can love him without holding back…

Loving Strangers

Is my heart wretched? Maybe but that is the truth about where I am at.

I would like to hear your thoughts on this. Inbox me or comment down here..

Love,

Ndanu

Is anything too hard for God? Nope!!!!!

Just listened to this testimony and it blew my mind! You think you are in too deep? You think you are done for? You think there is no hope for you? Think again!!

Freedom ain’t a myth. It is real! It is for freedom that Christ came!!

Watch this and be wowed!

Gal 5:1

It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery.

Love,

Ndanu

The Magic in Life :-)

Today has been a beautiful day and I feel all sorts of things bubbling inside of me. Got me thinking about all the things that have been extraordinary or magical in my 25 years of this life. I have seen many amazing things but I am not talking about that. I am talking about things that are sooooo good they feel unreal! Things that touch a part of our hearts that is seldom reached. I am sure you are starting to get what I am saying πŸ˜€

Since these things are so extraordinary, they happen fewer times than we can imagine. I have 5 such magical moments. They may seem small to you but they meant and felt like a thousand suns to me! πŸ™‚

image

1) Lollipops were popular some years ago. I had bought one for myself one day and my brother Muoki appeared just as I was putting it into my mouth. He always liked to tease me and on this day he wanted me to give him the lollipop. I put it in my mouth very fast because no one eats something that someone has already put into their mouth. Muoki is not everyone though… He took it from my mouth, said thank you, put it in his mouth and walked away saying, “Kwani mate yako ni sumu?” (Your saliva ain’t poison!) My heart was melting at this time…. In the most wierd way, I was moved by the fact that he could eat something straight from my mouth. A true blood connection that one.Β  Magical!! I will never forget that! Never! πŸ™‚

2) I had a bad fever like 6 years ago. My parents prayed over me as we went to bed that night. In the middle of the night, I felt a gentle hand on my forehead feeling for the fever. My mum had woken up and walked silently into my room to check on me. One of the sweetest things anyone has ever done for me. I felt like I was 2 years old again with nothing to fear! My heart melted…. Magical!! πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚

3) My 1st kiss happened like 5 years ago. My then boyfriend and I had had a picnic in a nice park. We had talked a lot, eaten like crazy, laughed and prayed together. We took a walk as the sun was setting and then it happened. I can’t remember who went first and all those details but it was beautiful! My heart was singing a million halleluyas in perfect harmony. Pitch perfect! πŸ˜€ Magical!!! πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚

4) 4 years ago, I sat alone on some nice wooden seats overlooking the sea in Busan Korea. It was a nice evening, the breeze was calming and the view was so beautiful. I remember I was having a hard time in a foreign land and I was missing home badly. However, taking all that beauty in and sitting there all alone in my thoughts, I felt a peace that the human mind cannot fathom. I knew I was going to be ok…. Such beauty! Such serenity! Magical!! πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚

5) The final one happened today. I was leading worship in church and a time came when the presence of God was so overwhelming. I was praying for the people but the rest of me felt like I was floating. It’s like God had saturated all the air around with His presence. I could stay in that exact position forever. Felt like heaven on earth. There is a God! Jehovah is God! Magical!!

I think about these experiences and I am so glad to be alive! May I live long to experience more of these wonders!
Life may not be easy but it is good!
Open your eyes to the wonders around you today! It’s in the small things πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚

Love,
Ndanu

Dads and Mums

Parents bring us forth. They teach us the very first life lessons. They become the people we look up to. We love them and desire to make them happy as much as possible. I used to think that their influence on us ends when we grow older but recently I have discovered that it probably never ends.

There is a relative of mine who is nearly 40 years old now. She shared something that shocked me. She still remembers that when she was like 3 years old, her mother compared her to her sister. You see she has a sister that was much lighter in complexion than her. Her mother said, probably in passing, that the lighter one was more beautiful than her. This stuck with her all her life. She decided that if her mum said it then it had to be true. She believed that she was not beautiful and so she put all her energy to her brains. She scored all As and got a very good job. She rose through the ranks, traveled the world, bought a house and big cars. She realized though a few years ago that she is now quite old and unmarried because she was hurt and spent all those years trying to feel worthy of her mum’s affection….trying to somehow prove her mum wrong…

This story got me thinking of how serious a parent’s words are. They have a serious effect on children. Children soak in everything their parents say. Some children are strong and are able to shake off the bad words as they grow up but some are not so strong. They tuck in those words and carry them around through life like a scout’s knife.

I have been practicing my driving this year but I was subconsciously waiting for my father to rubber stamp my competency. Everyone thought I was doing very well but I could not agree to drive alone. One day though just a month ago, my dad gave me his car and said that he trusted me to drive it alone. I was so surprised at the effect that approval had on me. I drove alone for the first time and I was more than proud of myself.

Parents, your words are important to your children. They might not admit it but you affect them more than you know. May you seek to build them up instead of tearing them down with what you say.

464x261-dadsonread

Love,

Ndanu

Plug In

Yesterday I met up with a friend that I had not seen in years. I was amazed at how hard life had been for him in those years. I wish I had been there to at least encourage him and pray with him 😦 He is doing much better now because in the end it does get better. God is good! \o/

I know that hard times can really mess with our faith and our view of God. I was very close to someone who was going through years and years of tough times. I was there during all the seasons and I saw how the pain tore at him. I saw how much he cried. I saw how difficult it was to keep trusting this God who seemed to have forgotten about him. This God seemed deaf and blind because it seemed like the more we prayed, the worse things got. Watching my friend tore at me too. I carried this bitterness around. It took a long time after that to heal and let the truth that God is good saturate every part of me! I still have trouble understanding why He allows some things to happen but we journey on!

I digress… πŸ™‚ I remember asking my friend yesterday how his relationship with God was doing. He told me that he was struggling to make it work but things were not good. I know how life gets crazy. Our conversation got me thinking how it was easier to maintain a relationship with God in high school because the school schedule was well planned out for us. Out here it’s a jungle for most of us. There is traffic to beat early in the morning, crazy assignments at work the whole day, evening commitments like evening classes, meetings, kids to take care of and many other things that need to be done…. By night time we are all usually just yearning to sleep. Little time is left to spend time with God. Quiet time as it is commonly called is nearly an impossibility. This is made worse by the people that surround us at work or school. Godliness has become very rare. If we do not as Christians or aspiring Christians CONSCIOUSLY look for godly friends, we will soon realize we have zero godly people around us.

Premium-WordPress-Plugins

I am in a green spiritual season right now because of a weekly Bible Study that my friends and I began a few weeks ago. We encourage each other to keep walking, I feel accountable to them and the weekly teachings keep me in check. Sunday service is not enough to keep us strong in this christian journey. We have to make time to spend alone in prayer and meditation of the word, we need to find a few people who we can fellowship with during the week and most of all we need God to keep us in Himself. I am calling it a Plug in. We will die off if we try to walk alone! It is mandatory that we plug in! You can even start the fellowship or bible study yourself. Just an hour or two at least once a week with a few God chasers like you will go a long way!

I realize now that the times I have gone ‘coldest’ in my walk is when I have been too busy to pray and too busy to meet up for fellowship!!!!!

Hebrews 10:24-25
24 And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds,
25 not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one anotherβ€”and all the more as you see the Day approaching.

header4

Let’s plug in and keep walking!!

Love,
Ndanu.