How did I get here? O_o

A few days ago I had lunch with a dear friend of mine and I could not help but ask myself this question, “How does one get to a bad place?”


This is a question many of us ask ourselves at least once in this life. “How did I get here?” The circumstances around such a question are usually negative. The place is usually a place that we have never imagined we would be. It is even a place we vowed never to be and passionately hated even the thought of being there. It could be an addiction, a relationship, a character trait etc.

This awesome friend of mine is in a “relationship” with a guy who already has a girlfriend. The judge in you is asking how I even have such a friend in the first place!! haha! She is a cool soul and life can happen to even the best of us! We sat there in the cafe talking about the situation and i kept thinking, “how did she get here?” How did she become the other woman. Where was I when all this was happening? We have always strongly condemned unfaithfulness of any sort but now my friend is here in the heart of it. My heart was aching and I was shaken! Shaken by the fact that we are human and that we can change. We can be one thing today and a totally different thing tomorrow. This humanness, this mortality, this weakness makes me rely on this immortal God of mine more and more! Without His Grace, hell would break loose in me!! Hell – literally! Wololoh!!

Eph 2:8

For it is by grace you have been saved, through faithβ€”and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God.

Long after the conversation was over, I was left thinking. You see, I think a lot! I stop and talk to myself. I like to dig inside and talk to God too. In my hearts of hearts, there is always a conversation going on. I am convinced that life changing decisions are always made in the heart of hearts. Going to that place inside is scary for many of us. This is because the voice of reason, the voice of truth is clearly heard in there. I think that every time I have found myself in a disastrous situation, not one caused by a flood or a hurricane but one I caused myself, it is always after I have neglected the habit of listening to that still small voice in my heart of hearts. It is always after i have been too busy to STOP and evaluate my recent decisions and feelings. It is always after I have noticed something wrong and ignored it. It is usually not a serious problem in the beginning but it grows because it is ignored and soon it is a giant problem and I am stuck in the middle of it.

I don’t know what kind of seemingly small situation you have found yourself in today or a few weeks ago… A disaster starts with a single thought, a feeling, a text, a joke, a click of a button and soon it’s a big mountain! A disaster! Let’s stop today, evaluate and run away from trouble before it blows up in our faces!

Psalm 28:8

The LORD is the strength of his people, a fortress of salvation for his anointed one.

Proverbs 18:10

The name of the Lord is a strong tower; The righteous run to it and are safe.






Cake miracles

I am writing this as I give thanks to God for enabling me create and present my very 1st wedding cakes. The experience was painful and crazy but all was well in the end.

The drama started on Wednesday. I had a well thought out plan to bake 2 cakes on Wednesday night and 3 on Thursday night. This would help ensure that my work was well spaced out so that Friday would be cake decoration bila stress! I got home from work on Wednesday evening so excited about baking but I was pleasantly derailed by a good friend of mine talking on the phone for nearly 2 hours. Baking therefore started at around 7.30pm. Believe it or not, both cakes sank and my heart sank with them 😦 😦

I was so discouraged but it was not so bad because I still had 2 days before the wedding. Furthermore, Friday would be a holiday (God bless the Muslims!!!) so I would have a full day to work on perfecting the cakes. Also, all the 5 cakes would be totally fresh πŸ™‚ I filled my head with all these positive thoughts and slept peacefully resolving to bake the next evening.

Thursday came and I kept looking at my watch anxiously awaiting 5pm! My bossΒ  let me leave the office early to attend to my cakes and I was so happy. She is just awesome!!

I got home ready to rambo!!! πŸ˜€ Still some cakes would come out perfectly while others would sink!! My world was falling apart but I had this solid peace in my heart. I re-did the bad cakes and tweaked some of the backfired ones. I have never baked so many cakes in my life and my mum was so supportive! We both asked God why my cakes were perfect just the last time I had baked for a friend’s birthday but now they were a disaster!! I slept at 3am with 5 cakes ready for icing.

I was up early Friday morning and I did not want to eat anything until all my cakes were beautifully decorated. My mum thought I was crazy but sincerely, i could not stomach any food with all that pressure.

This 1st experience with fondant was no small task. It involved a lot of scientific combinations of solutions and fire. I felt like I was in Dexter’s lab πŸ˜€ Kneading was also a big part of it. It was like making a hundred chapatis and every part of my body was in PAIN in the end! My feet for standing for 4 hours, my shoulders from the kneading and my back from the slight bend needed to get everything right. The results were worth the struggle!! The cakes might not look like the best in the world but I am so happy!! God held me through all the drama, kept me calm, brought me an amazing support system, downloaded the designs into my head and worked all things for good!!

You might be going through your own drama. Please know that God is with you and that He has deposited enough strength in you to come out of the “fire” stronger and better! Keep trying again, trust God and keep hope alive πŸ™‚ πŸ˜‰

I thank all my friends and family who walked with me through calling, giving me ideas, praying for me and helping me set up the cakes πŸ˜‰ Nawapenda sana!

The cakes and set-up looked like this:


The nice deep purple is a scarf by the way. The 200 bob one’s sold in town πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ πŸ˜‰Image

A woman, all God given greatness and A million thoughts

Today I have taken forever to get down to writing this post!! This is because my heart is so full!! Soulful!! haha! Let me see if I can express everything I am feeling and thinking!

First of all, this week I really miss my ex. He was and still is one amazing man! He understood me too well and we had a great time when we were together! After everything, I still respect him very much. I know it is not conventional to write this on my blog but life is short and I have written it because sincerely I felt it!!

I am very observant and I like watching things unfold. This week I was listening and watching the women in my life and they are so similar in some things. As I start to explain this, please keep in mind that most of them are God fearing women. They are special πŸ™‚

1) A woman wants to be adored! Come on, don’t over spiritualize it. All I mean is that she wants her man to find her as the most beautiful woman in the world. To marvel at her uniqueness, her thoughts and who she is becoming everyday. To show this adoration in the way he listens to her stories, how he looks at her and how he talks about her to his friends and family.

2) A woman is so impressed by a man who values her. By value i mean, he remembers what she told him 10 years ago, he can’t wait for work to end so he can see her, she is the 1st person he thinks of when he needs to share happenings of the day with someone, she is constantly on his mind….

3) A woman loves a man more if he is prayerful. If he prays for her, if he prays over situations instead of despairing when things go wrong, if he asks for God’s opinion in his decision making, if he is submitted to God, she feels safe with such a man. If God is his source then it is easy to submit to him.

4) She appreciates a man who supports her dreams. A man who seeks to know her strengths and pushes her lovingly to be the best she was made to be. A man who understands that there is no competition between them, that by ensuring she is at her best then he is also at his best. A man with hands strong enough to clap for his woman! πŸ™‚

5) If he enjoys her cooking, if he makes her laugh, if he is faithful to her, if he protects her, if he knows that he is the man!! That’s all!! Oh and texts her first thing in the morning and last thing at night!! *bliss* haha! (Unless you are married of course)

Of course I know there is a lot expected of women but all my girls will easily do their part when the above is in order. Money is not even a big deal. These beautiful women are willing to work with you to gather that wealth. The above man with a vision is enough.

Hats off to all the amazing women in my life!!! :-*

Finally, i listened to Emeli Sande’s “Read all About it” ( and I have decided that I will not hold back anymore!! I want to see myself as God sees me. I want to love like one who has been loved!! I have so much love around me, love from God, from my family and friends and all I can do is share this love. I will use my hands to bless, to bring healing to the wounded hearted, to give to the needy, to clothe the naked and bring a little heaven on earth. I am hugging tighter, laughing louder, listening more, praying longer, loving immensely and spending a few more minutes in front of the mirror ;-)!!! :-*

For as long as I have breath in me, Help me Lord!!!