It’s been ONE year!!!!!!

WordPress.com just reminded me that this blog has been alive for a full year! Imagine! I had no idea it would go past the 4th month but a day at a time, a post at a time and we are a year old. The stats tell me that the blog has had 9,490 views! I lack the ability to comprehend that! I feel so overwhelmed that my rumblings and stories have brought the blog 9,490 views. Truth is I do not think that highly of my writing. There are many amazing bloggers around me with much better English and meticulous story telling skills. I am humbled though by everyone who has taken time to read my stories. They come from my heart. That’s all I can promise… sincere heart felt writings. They might not be politically correct or mind blowing-ly awesome but they are true and they come from my heart.

I have received numerous messages and calls on different blog posts i have put up. I am praying with several readers most days and I have realized just how much power is in the written word.

Thank you for reading and giving me your feedback through comments, calls, inbox and face to face.

I am happy!!

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Happy Birthday semasoulful!

Isaiah 50:4

The Almighty LORD will teach me what to say, so I will know how to encourage weary people. Morning after morning he will wake me to listen like a student.

We walk on!! 🙂 🙂 \o/

Love,

Ndanu.

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Answers

I shared about my great hollowness a few weeks ago. My search for purpose. I felt like an empty well ready to be filled. I harbored a great yearning for understanding. A desperate need to know why I walk this earth. Why Yahweh awakes me every morning. I set out to ask God and he gave me a peculiar answer. The first of the many answers i still seek. I am grateful though for that answer so far. A day at a time. I was surprised at your responses about this issue. Most of you are walking the same path. I have been in prayer with some of you and His answers have been flowing. I am encouraged! 🙂

My answer…

A week after the ‘Purpose’ post (https://semasoulful.wordpress.com/2014/04/22/purpose/), I was having a conversation with God. Yes He speaks!! I ain’t crazy!! LOL!! 😀 I told him that I was ready for His will and He reminded me about my music. I tried to think about the last time i sang and why I had stopped. I realized i rarely sang these days and was surprised by how much i missed it. I remember ending that conversation by asking him to give me a platform to sing if that is what he wanted me to do. To my surprise, the very next day a very good friend of mine called. She had been asked to lead worship at Mavuno downtown for a full month and she needed myself and several other ladies to help her out. I was so amazed by the aptness of the answer and of course I agreed. I thought i was just to be a back up singer but I was shocked to find out that I would have to lead a song each Sunday. Haha! God has a sense of humor! A humongous one sometimes! 😀

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The team is made up of ladies only. Girls on the lead guitar, bass guitar, drumset and keys. Girls also leading the worship. An all girls band experience has been out of this world. I had never met any of them before this and I am amazed. They are all gifted and humble. They have restored parts of me that had been torn apart. They encourage me so much!! I lost confidence in my singing abilities a few years ago. I was in a band and the leader and members of the band thought I was inferior…. They showed me in subtle ways that I was not good enough and i stupidly began to believe them. In my many months in that band, i never led a single song. I decided to quit but the discouragement did not quit with me. I carried it unknowingly. I think I only led a song twice in the 2 years since I quit 😦

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I do not know why my music is the first thing God is working on but He is and I am co-operating with Him. I have crazy butterflies every Saturday night as I wonder how I am going to lead a song the next morning!! I realize each time that when it comes to leading people into the presence of God all i need to do is know that it is not about me. It’s not about how well I can sing, it’s not about how well i am dressed, it’s not about making impressions but it’s about surrender. I submit to God as soon as I am on that stage and He takes over and does amazing things. Sometimes I feel like part of me steps aside to listen to me sing and I get convinced all over again that there has to be a power greater than myself at work!

To cut this story short, chains of looking down on my gift, chains of fear, chains of pride and discouragement have all been falling off this last 3 Sundays. Next Sunday is the last Sunday at Mavuno and I am not very sure where I will be singing next but one of the things I was born to do is to lead in song and that is what I will be doing as God allows me and gives me the opportunity \o/

If you forget everything I have written, please remember:

1) God is real!!! He communicates all around us. We just need to start asking, seeing and hearing.

2) You were not a mistake! God keeps you alive intentionally. Discover His intentions and LIVE life!

3) Encourage the people around you. Don’t be the reason they quit or the reason they are discouraged!

4) Fear is your greatest enemy. If you know what you need to do, just do it today!

5) Don’t stay down! By all means, find a way to stand up, overcome and keep walking!

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I am still asking about my job and I am sure I will have a story to tell soon… 🙂

Let’s keep walking….

1 Tim 1:17

Now to the King eternal, immortal, invisible, the only God, be honor and glory for ever and ever. Amen.

Love,

Ndanu

 

 

 

Life keeps happening! :-( :-)

I have been thinking. It’s amazing how the things i witnessed in the generation before mine are replaying themselves in my generation now. In some childish way i thought such happenings were a reserve for their time. I thought that they were unique people with unique situations but lately it’s dawning on me that this is life. Life happens and most of all, we make decisions and these decisions shape our lives. We are making decisions every day and slowly, like little babies, they keep growing and taking shape.

I choose to say WE because it is my generation. We have grown up together. We know each other personally. It is no longer our place to point fingers at the older people and shake our heads in disappointment or amazement. It is our turn. It is our lives, our decisions, our pain, our successes, our challenges. We are grown up. Young adults but adults all the same. WE.

We are settling into careers. We are choosing what to do with our lives. Some are tailor made for the corporate world and they thrive there-in. Some are brave enough to go into business and they are still finding their way in that world. Some juggle both worlds while some have gone into ministry. This is especially fascinating for me. I know pastors who are my age! I guess i always thought that pastors would always be much older people like they’ve always been. Quite cool actually! There are people who do not necessarily fall into any of these categories they are artists, musicians, poets, writers, teachers… Others are a bit confused with a bit of everything inside of them! Their dreams are valid too! 😀

We are deciding what values will govern our lives. We have taken into drinking, cursing, sleeping around and all manner of craziness. Some of us have given themselves fully to God and His word. Some of us are still trying to get the best of both worlds. I imagine this can be exhausting but all these are decisions all the same. Small daily decisions that have shaped our lives into what they are today.

We have delved into this thing called love. We are choosing our life partners. That lazy guy who cannot keep a job, the church going quiet girl, the opinionated and passionate guy, the party loving free spirited girl, the cheating drunkard, the pan African, the prayer warrior, the guitar playing worship leader, the DJ, the man of the people, the ambitious musician, the fashion designer, the workaholic, the foodie, the over weight, the sweet and God loving….. name it! They’ve all found a place among us. It’s amazing! We are already painfully seeing the marriages that are threatening to crumble, the happy ones, the strong ones, the on and offs… Yet, others among us still have failed to find love though years keep rushing past 😦 .

Some of us have porn written all over their social media and instagram, some smoke weed and curse like its the most common thing in the world, some are in cults, some are becoming atheists and others are even gay. We are all choosing different paths and slowly setting the stage for the lives we want to live.

We have lost parents and siblings, we have lost small babies, we have had miscarriages, we have been diagnosed with fibroids and cysts and all those things that seemed scary but far off! Life is unfolding and raining lessons on us. I have learnt to make the most of everyday, I have learnt to love people a lot!! I have learnt to pray for myself and other people and I have learnt that God is the only constant! Unmovable, unshakeable, incorruptible foundation! Life will happen but He never changes!
Let’s make wise decisions, let’s love God and let’s be completely PRESENT in whatever seasons we find ourselves in this life! Let’s come out stronger and wiser each time.

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John 14:18
I will not leave you as orphans; I will come to you.

Love,
Ndanu