My women!!

I have these 3 women who God gave me in His own mysterious ways. They have been praying with me and for me. They check up on me. They probably know all my stories and messes. They have been gracious enough to share their life stories with me too….mistakes and all! They teach me about God and calling and family. They have told me the plain truth when i needed to hear it. I bless God so much for them!!

We are scattered all over and we are in different phases of our lives but we walk on in love, grace and strength!!

Every lady should have some women of her own. Godly women at that. Older, sane and sanctified women to walk with. God please provide such women for everyone in need!

I love you Mnash, Mwika and Faith!!!

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Titus 2:3-5
3 Likewise, teach the older women to be reverent in the way they live, not to be slanderers or addicted to much wine, but to teach what is good. 4 Then they can urge the younger women to love their husbands and children, 5 to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind, and to be subject to their husbands, so that no one will malign the word of God.

Love,
Ndanu

Boundless Love

All I ever wanted when I was young was to grow into a beautiful woman who wears make up and smells nice! I had an auntie who was oh so glamorous. I loved her blue mascara and her perfume!! At that age she seemed like a goddess!

I am still big on scents and fashion but I grew up to want much more! I want to be compassionate, I want to be generous, I want to be loyal, I want to be passionate, I want to see miracles, I want to play the saxophone, I want to sing and sing and sing, I want to help women start businesses, I want to bake for the president, I want to love broken young people to wholeness, I want to build homeless shelters so no one will sleep in the rain, I want to travel the world, I want 3 amazing babies, I want to selflessly serve God with my man til we are no more…..

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I won’t lie that i have everything figured out, that I know exactly how I will do all this. However i am looking up and looking forward. I am hopeful and I have faith! A step at a time, a day at a time πŸ™‚

What do you want with your life? Who do you want to be? What really matters to you? What do you live for? Let’s choose purpose and things with lasting significance. Let’s make everyday count and be EVERYTHING God created us to be. Don’t just follow the status quo! Find out who you are and LIVE! Run YOUR race! :-*

He is a passionate God! How else would you explain sacrificing His son to die for a humanity that was so crazy and lost? It’s like He chose the most extreme way to show us just how much love He has for us. He held nothing back! Reckless love! Boundless love!

I don’t know about you but I want to live my life from this passionate example from Father God. We are created in His image afterall right? πŸ™‚

Let’s live and make everyday count!

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Daniel 11:32
They that know their God shall be strong and do exploits!! \o/

Love,
Ndanu

Man Enough

I went up country to bury one of my grandfathers yesterday. I came back thinking about men and manhood. See I have never seen my ‘real’ grandfather. He just up and left his wife and family many years ago. The one we buried was his brother.

My mind was wandering at the funeral yesterday as I just sat staring at my grandmother. How did that abandonment make her feel? Did her heart burn up with hurt the day she realised he was not coming back? Did she cry herself to sleep for a full year or something? Did she feel despair at the thought of raising my dad and all his 6 siblings? Was she mad at God? All I could do was wonder because all the years I have known her, she has shown no signs of that painful incident. She is the most joyful and loving woman I know. She loves God to a fault and she has stood by her family without any complaints.

My dad is another one I could not stop thinking about yesterday. His dad was with him the morning before he left. My dad was the first born and probably got to spend more time with him than all the other kids… How did that abandonment feel? How did it mess with him and his worth and his world view? He has been such an amazing dad to us. No proof of not having a father himself! I guess God is truly a father to the fatherless. It’s not a myth.

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I wonder what made my grandfather run. Maybe it was the pressure of being a man, a husband, a father to 7 children and the responsibility that comes with all these titles. I have grown up with 3 brothers and I have watched them grow from boys to men. The responsibility of being a man is no small thing. Society and family all look up to you. It must feel like the whole world is on your shoulders! You don’t have to carry it all though… God is your father and in him is all strength and wisdom on what it means to be a real man. Let God lead and guide you. Get close to God, Abba Father!

I celebrate and pray for all the men in my life today! I see you doing your best and I celebrate you! You are important! You were not created a man by mistake. You can grow into the FULLNESS of the amazing man that God designed you to be. May God strengthen you, guide you, bless you and carry your burdens today!!

Women celebrate your husbands, your sons and your fathers today and everyday. Pray for them, love on them, respect them and be their peace! πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚

Love,

Ndanu.

Special Deliveries

I rarely talk about this because half of the people will think I am being proud and the other half will think I am plain crazy! πŸ˜€ However, I woke up today and felt a great push to write about it especially for the next generation of this kind.

What is this kind? πŸ˜€

I knew God at an early age. Part of this was largely because I was a preacher’s daughter. I and my brothers knew about God, His word, salvation, tongues, miracles etc when we were very young. I remember having to tone down the spiritual stuff when i was in primary school especially at the adolescent age. The first boy I ever liked was in my primary school. I really really liked him and i remember denying that I was saved in front of everyone in my Class 7 East. I did that because i thought it would embarrass him since he was one of the most popular guys in school. He would be the laughing stock in the school if his girlfriend had gone all spiritual 😦 I remember lying in bed that night alone in the dark feeling so guilty about what I had done. I begged God to forgive me and allow me to keep my relationship with Him secret for just one more year. lol! I promised Him that I would live fully for Him when I got to high school. In retrospect, I am amazed at the kind of relationship I had with God. I somehow trusted that He loved me and would understand me. Anyway things did not really work out with the boy and we broke up on the last day of primary school. haha!!

God took our high school agreement seriously! πŸ˜€ I was speaking in tongues and casting out demons by the age of 16. A man of God prophesied over my life in a school Sunday service. He talked about people getting healed and delivered while i led worship and I don’t think he had any idea that I could even sing. I started to get words of knowledge especially as I led the rest of the school in worship from Form 3. In form 4 I was the Christian Union Chair lady and God’s power had never been stronger than it was that year. Miracles, signs and wonders to say the least.

I soon realized though that there was a price to pay for this calling. No one had prepared me for this. I was not a ‘normal’ young girl and this was especially evident during the school holidays. I was not really fitting in 100% with my peers. Some of the most hurtful times were during the annual church youth camps. We had a date night that everyone looked forward to. Girls would wait the whole week to be asked out by the guys to be their dates for the dinner. I never once got asked. I came to realize that this was because, as much as I was beautiful, the guys had no idea how to handle me. I was in the youth camp leadership when most people my age were just campers. I was waking up early to attend the morning prayers while most of the other campers were asleep. I was speaking about sexual purity in the evening sessions while people of my age wanted to experiment. Now I see how i must have appeared weird. I could not talk to anyone about this conflict in my heart. Sadly not even my parents. I did not feel like I knew anyone who would totally understand. I wanted to live for God and knew that He had put something special in me but I also needed a mentor or someone to reassure me that I was beautiful, that it was ok not to be ‘normal’, that I would turn out fine. Someone to explain to me what calling was… God ended up being this person for me. He has done a pretty good job so far!

Dating has always been a complicated story for me. After high school and ‘no-date’ camp dinners :-D, I met many guys and there was a spark but when we got to know each other, the problem still remained. My relationship with God was always a hindrance because the guys wanted different things from what I wanted and I knew it would never work… I would be tempted to stop being too serious with God but somehow God always snatched me from those situations just in the nick of time! And I mean just in the nick of time!! πŸ˜€

We are told that we have to submit and respect our men but I know that the only way I will be able to do this is if God gives me a man that is ‘higher’ than me. What I mean by higher is he must know God more than I do, he must pray more than I do, he must know the word more than I do… I know all this may sound crazy but it is mandatory for me. Otherwise it will be hard to fully respect and submit myself to him. The bible says in Eph 5: 25-26 “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her, so that He might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word.”

How else is he supposed to do “the washing of water with the word” to me just like Christ did? I see no other way apart from Him being higher than me. And I don’t mean me stopping to grow or pretending that I don’t know much of the word so he becomes higher! πŸ˜€

I thought I had found such a guy several years ago so you can imagine the horror in my heart when God said he was not the one for me. I fought with God over that answer for 4 full years until I agreed to let go. I had given up on ever finding a man higher than me. The only ones around me were my pastors, my dad and my brothers! lol! All the other guys just seemed busy with everything else other than seriously growing in God. They seemed to be ok with normal Christianity while I was hungry for deeper and higher! I remember just last year having a hard time explaining to a guy how I was waiting for God to speak before I quit my job. He did not believe that God speaks and just thought I was being a lunatic. This was a confirmation to me that whatever thing we were thinking of starting together would never work. Lately though, I have met many guys who actually teach me a lot and who are crazy about God! There is hope people!! There is hope!! πŸ˜€

What is the point of this post? You may ask πŸ™‚

This post is for anyone who is growing up feeling a bit lost because of God’s call over your life. Please do not run away from the call. Just surrender to God and He will walk you through each step even the most confusing and painful ones!

It is also for parents. I know in the depths of my heart that some of you reading this will have children that are called of God. The coming generation is going to be FULL of these called out kids. God is doing a new thing! They will be walking in great power and anointing so it is very important for you to sense this call over their lives and help them through it. Be close to them from an early age and allow them to talk to you about all the challenges they face. They will have peculiar struggles because of their call but God will grant you wisdom. Pray for them a lot too and just love them. You will be amazed at what God will do through them.

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Love,

Ndanu

Life is soooo real!!

I must say I have some of the realest people in my life. The kind of real conversations I have with them just remind me of how real life is. Problems are usually faced head on…in a lot of love but still head on. I guess that is why some new people I meet find me a bit too forward or blunt… Those conversations plus situations around me have just got me thinking that life is SO real. It is not a dream, it is not a fairy tale, today will not come back tomorrow, it is not a rehearsal. It is REAL.

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A few weeks ago, some two amazing ladies and I were discussing about pregnancy since one of us is pregnant. We have a relationship where we can ask each other anything and one of the questions we asked was, “How is the sleeping situation now that you are much bigger and the bed is the same size?”. She went on to answer by explaining how they are working around this with her husband. However as she responded, i was hit by just how real life is. She is actually pregnant and among all the things she is dealing with, one of them is that there is smaller sleeping space in their matrimonial bed. lol! πŸ˜€ How real is that?

Yesterday i was queuing in the supermarket and when it was my turn, the cashier said hello and called me by my name. I was shocked and of course inquired as to how she knew me. She said that she reads my blog. I was even more shocked by that. How could someone know me from this small blog that i write here? It was a sobering reminder that life is real. That people actually do read my stories. That i should not get tired of encouraging people through my writing. That some people actually do relate to my stories. That we should not take lightly whatever we do.

A friend of mine smokes and yesterday i met him just as he was going to smoke. I talked to him and begged him to stop. I saw him struggle to agree because he has probably tried to stop many times before and failed. He knows how bad smoking is for his health but truth is that it is still so difficult to stop. Later in the night he told me that he has decided to surrender his lighter for the next 21 days. I know it is going to be HARD but it has to be done and it can be done. And you know what? If he fails this time, it is also ok. Soon he will succeed and have a story to tell. I am praying for him and reminding him that with God’s enabling, there is nothing that is too hard to achieve! πŸ™‚

That is my conviction today. That this is real life. It’s like an ongoing reality show. It ain’t going no where so we better face our fears, correct our mistakes, know ourselves better, live through the consequences of our actions with boldness, listen more, laugh louder, love deeper, forgive easy, talk about the things that need to be addressed, say sorry and thank you, stop manipulation and self pity, watch our speech, find our purposes, let each day count and above all else to give ourselves fully to God.

Life is REAL!

Psalm 69:32b

You who seek God, may your hearts live!

Love,

Ndanu

The Rebirth

I believe it with all my heart!! Each and every one of us was created for a purpose. No one was a mistake, no one was a duplicate. No one! That is why being jealous of other people’s lives is just plain stupid. I pray that we will all seek to find out who we are, why God created us and pursue that every day of our lives.

I have been on a journey to finding out why I was created and it has been a crazy one. Here are the stories I wrote:

https://semasoulful.wordpress.com/2014/04/22/purpose/

https://semasoulful.wordpress.com/2014/05/19/answers/

I had shared about the discovery that music is part of my journey. That part is growing and God confirms it each time I open my mouth to lead worship. His presence gets so heavy and He touches His people. This is what happens when we align ourselves with our purposes! Miracles happen. Magic happens. Heaven kisses earth :-*

The next part of my purpose journey was my job. I have worked in the same company for the past 3 years. I got the job even before I graduated from University. I did not tarmac. I was an intern and my boss confirmed me on the last day of my internship. Everyone was proud of me and I was earning a reasonable amount of money but I was so unhappy. I had zero interest in the job and only went through the motions. I love people so I have enjoyed great friendships at work and my boss became a good friend too. He gave me a promotion and salary increase and tried to support me as much as possible but I was still unhappy. I beat my deadlines and could even be considered a great worker but my soul was slowly dying.

You see, I am innately a creative. I work best with my hands. In university I made money by knitting scarfs, making cards, a little sewing and baking. I really enjoyed these things but at the time they just seemed like hobbies. When I got the job, I dropped all the other arts and just remained with the baking. It has grown so much that I literally had 2 jobs for the past 1 year. I would work in the office during the day and bake at night.

At first I had energy to juggle the two but as I got more and more orders, I slept less and less. I was always tired. I developed a strong desire to quit my day job and the desire remained strong despite everyone thinking I was insane. The desire was bearable until beginning of this year. Time to quit was here and the urgency I felt was driving me insane. Waking up in the morning had become so hard and I think I was getting depressed. God surrounded me with a few people who really encouraged me to obey and follow my heart and I finally quit last week. I still have to serve 2 months’ notice but I am so excited about this new phase of my life.

I will have control of my time. I will do what I love and have enough time for ministry. I feel like I have just been born. I appreciate my time at my day job. God wanted me there for that time and I have learned a lot. Let’s see where this road leads.

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You were created for some things that are specific to you. What makes you happy? What leaves you feeling alive? What are you passionate about? The answers to these questions are the clues you will need on your journey. There is so much treasure in you. Please start the treasure hunt! What happened to having big dreams? When did we get so comfortable with being normal? God created us for much more!

Listen to this life changing sermon: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=giEUcAX1JD0

Let our dreams come alive! Our dreams are valid!!! πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚

Psalm 69:32b

You who seek God, may your hearts live!

Love,

Ndanu

Soul Food

Some people seem to have this life thing all figured out but for most of us, it can get crazy sometimes.

We need to be reminded what this whole life thing is about.

We need guidance on what routes to take in this journey.

We need the shelter of peace in order to rest and gather more strength to walk on.

We need kind words to root out the painful ones.

We need the balm of love to bring healing to the cracks on our souls.

We need to know we matter somewhere, somehow. To know that something is better because we are around.

To know we have something worth fighting for. That we are worth fighting for.

To know purpose. To know guidance. To know peace. To know kindness. To know love. To know we matter.

To know we are not alone.

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John 14:18

β€œI will not leave you as orphans; I will come to you.”

Love,

Ndanu