So close yet so far

Girls!!!! You know I love you and I tell it as it is. Truth is hard but if we allow it to penetrate our hearts then we get closer to healing and who doesn’t want to be whole? πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚

You meet this guy and he seems just great! He calls you one day and the conversation goes well. He does not ask you out for a date like you dreamed but he is sweet and has good manners. If you are a God girl like me, you are also impressed by just how he adores God. You become friends and talk once in a while. It is not often enough to be sure that something is growing but also not rare enough to be sure that it is nothing!! Hahaha! So close yet so very far! Intangible!The craziness of the single life!! πŸ˜€


I have learned that the above is ok and normal but the trouble starts here… You are really ready for a relationship so you are always thinking ahead. You are already praying about what God thinks of him, you are already wondering if it could work and if you are super fast, you are already thinking what kind of dad he would make!! LOL!! Girls you know it’s true! The problem with allowing your thoughts to go this far is that you set yourself up for hurt. You grow fond of him even before you are sure he likes you back. You start to whatsapp him with every thought and juicy detail of your day. Soon he is the first person you talk to in the morning and the last one at night. Remember though that he has not made anything clear. He has not told you if he feels anything for you.

Truth is I do not understand why the guys reply and keep you engaged in conversations if they feel nothing for you but bottom line is they do. Maybe they are just a really polite gender!! lol!! I teach my baby brother and my close male friends not to do that but the problem persists with most other guys. I know guys are also reading this so please guys, girls just love conversation. It might be a universal love language for all females. To call often and ask them how they are doing, to chat often on whatsapp and any other constant communication sends a signal to them that you might not be necessarily intending. So please stop!! I know it sounds drastic but please stop! Call, chat and give attention to the girl you see a future with. Pursue her intentionally and avoid all these misunderstandings…. Believe me, one day you will be dealing with a guy doing this to your daughter and it won’t be pretty!

Back to my girls, we cannot really control what guys do but we can take control of our own lives and hearts. Guard your heart. Have some dignity. Love yourself. Let him look for you. Let him chase, they actually do enjoy it. Let him be the man. Do not pour your whole heart out to him even before he tells you what he wants. Do not be one of the many girls he chats the whole day with.Β  Do not allow yourself to get carried away in your thoughts. My sister and I have this rule, ‘He does not like you until he says it’. Believe me, it is a good rule! No guessing! It has saved me from a lot of unnecessary heart ache. This post was birthed this morning when I woke up with this urge to narrate a story to my “so close yet so far” but I have managed not to. I will not. Guy got to earn my stories πŸ˜€ Guy got to truly want my stories. Guy got to set the ball rolling. I will call up my girlfriend and share my story much as it’s not the same! It will do for now! πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚

Strong, girls!! Strong!!



26 thoughts on “So close yet so far

  1. Exactly. In fact tag all they guys you know because this is something they really need to read. A lot of them really have no idea when they lead a sister on but many let it take a path that it shouldn’t till it becomes a situationship.

  2. Nice one Ndanu.. I couldn’t relate more. It’s a sad reality. We guys often do it more, though I have also been a victim once…lol! Learnt a lesson though. Kudos πŸ™‚


  3. Great read. Long before met the one, I hurt many of my close friends. They skipped this lesson in Mars. I wish as many of my young Christian brothers could read this.

  4. ‘He does not like you until he says it’ so true. I subscribe to that but I want to remember it always. An 8-5 job, a book in the bag, the bible app in the phone help avoid unnecessary conversation. How many times I let myself down! Tsk. Somebody slap me!

  5. Well, this happens enough times.. sometimes I think this things should be included in the school syllabus [ may not be all good though coz of the varied opinions of the teachers :/] ..I try as much as possible not to lead anyone on..
    ..but from a guys perspective even with the rule ‘he doesn’t like you until he says’ given a wise guy a wise guy wouldn’t get to the saying bit unless he thinks it’s mutual [no one wants to get hurt!] ..and words commit we can only help each other out! Work with what you see girls [If you’re interested let him see
    ..] rule still applies, still don’t assume [..when he sees if he’s serious he’ll speak]
    ..everyone wants to protect their heart from hurt, let’s help each other out ‘:?

  6. ..even guys struggle with this!

    I want to know, what I mean to you, who I am to you
    ..we talk alot, we hang out even more, how do I know you don’t hang out with them all,
    I don’t specifically have a problem with that, a little jelous maybe, but that’s normal right!”‘:;/?
    That’s what I mean, can I call you baby, introduce you as my special lady?
    ..would I be lying, to me you are the special lady but who am I in your eyes..
    Don’t want to assume I’m your prince charming while I’m just a prince as charming..
    I just want to know how I’m perceived in your eyes, I want to know how I rank as a Knight
    ..Knight in shining armor or Knight just like the others,
    ..your Knight unknown!”‘:;/?

    • I hear you eKim!! I hear you! This is all so complicated. Rejection is painful for anyone! Period! I guess we all just fumble through these things and get our way as we go….

  7. gals need attention yes, but sometimes they need to understand what the man is going through. Even us go through hard times in life n you dont expect me to be the same when am in my hard times. I regret giving my heart to a gal who couldnt understand what i was going through when she called it off. Girls know men loves you n care even when they dont seem to.
    Love is not all about attention, its about 1corinthians 13
    I loved her but she let go

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