Blurred Lines

This morning a workmate asked my opinion on the mavuno flier and it hit me that I had not given it serious thought. I have had time to think and as usual my thoughts took me further than I wanted to go. I like these deep waters though 🙂 They are dangerous but they take us closer to the core of the problem. The heart of the matter!

Sex and Sexuality ***sigh***

The church has ignored this topic for a long time. Ignoring it has however done little to make it go away. It is not going anywhere so we have to face it. The truth is that the struggle is REAL! I have many friends struggling with masturbation right now. They are faithful church members and they serve in ministries but the struggle is still REAL! People in relationships are naked together countless times. The lines are really blurry if they are even existing anymore. For many christian youth, the trend is to do everything else apart from penetration. We boldly talk about purity and waiting but when the real situation faces us, most of us fall flat on our faces. It is a sad situation. I think we should even be panicking. I was panicking last week when I had this conversation with a friend of mine. I was panicking because the number of people willing or even able to show us direction on purity is extremely small.

The lines are this blurry mainly because we are not sure anymore what purity means. What exactly is it? What exactly does God say about it? And what does what He says mean? What exactly is sex? Is it just penetration meaning we are safe if we are undressing each other and he does not get inside of me? Does the mind and the heart have anything to do with sex? I may not answer all these questions but I will go all insane again and share my life.

I have never had sex per say but making out got a bit crazy. It’s been more than 2 years now but I still remember that each time I was left hollow inside. I could no longer campaign about purity like i used to. I went all silent on the topic. I started to view sex not as a beautiful gift from God but as a struggle. A burden God gave us to struggle with during our lives on earth. I would see how my friends struggled with stopping it after they started. I would see my friends tired from fighting with masturbation and porn. I saw the struggles on pregnancy out of marriage… Sex was just a struggle, a big one.

In my singleness, one thing I needed healing on was my sexuality. I had long sessions with God about it. I took time to forgive myself and to accept His forgiveness. Truth is that sometimes I am afraid of the time when I will be in a relationship. It might be easier now to keep pure but when the man comes then it could be HARD. My friend and I have been praying and talking about this a lot and the conclusion is this;

1) If we want to honor God with this part of our lives then it is going to take a lot of Grace and personal resolve from the TWO of you. It will take both the man and the girl to agree to walk the crazy purity journey. The few people i know who were able to do it had to do insane things like:


It seems like only radical actions like these will keep us afloat.

2) There are crazy soul ties even without penetration!

3) Sex is beautiful when it is in the place it was created for. Otherwise it becomes a nuclear bomb that can destroy us and leave us wounded for years! …In its correct form and time, it should not leave me hollow or alienate me from God.

4) It is by Grace. We cannot do it by ourselves but God gives us the strength, question is do we even want the strength? It is useless to be handed something we do not want in the 1st place.

5) Sex starts in the mind. When we are flirting and chatting about it on our phones, watching ‘sexy’ movies, thinking it constantly in our heads… Then when we are finally together we have already lost the battle. We do physically what was nesting inside us.

6) Purity is not just for ourselves but for people around us and generations after us. What do I want to tell my kids about the subject? What encouragement will I have for my friends when they come to me struggling with it? I want to have a positive testimony. I want to tell my baby girl that it is possible because I did it. I want the God did it for me, he can do it for you kind of talk. Sounds cliche but it is quite powerful. That Yahweh was not only a God of Joseph of old (who literally ran from sexual sin) but also a God of Ndanu who you know right now.

7) God heals and restores all our messes if we bring them to Him! He does!

Right now I have an encourager. This amazing young man has made me believe that it is possible. We encourage each other constantly and I dare to keep my resolve. There is always the danger that very few men will be willing to walk this radical journey with me but if that’s the case, then i guess, so be it. Insane! /O\

To all insane people out there, God help us!

Mavuno, (poster aside) I am curious about what you will teach the teens about sex! However, it is about time!! May God lead you to all truth as you share!! I am praying for you!

🙂 🙂


12 thoughts on “Blurred Lines

  1. Thank you. Truly God has used you because He’s spoken to me through ur post. That is a very relevant message that most of us Christian youth need. Plz share it far n wide. x

  2. It is so true that it is only possible through grace. I once heard a friend say that God created his law so that we would know just how powerful he is. Gods law is unattainable without his grace, presence and spirit. It is important to remember that many young girls struggle with purity because their option to wait or chose was stolen…to them remember that God can restore all that is stolen he did for Job…restoration requires patience. For those who have chosen know that each time you give of yourself it is a precious gift from God we place to much relevance of purity around the first time but every time no matter how many times that you have had sex you are actively choosing to share the greatest gift God gave us…creating life trough love! Be encouraged all wherever you are in your journey….The end is greater than the beginning..Ecclesiastes 7:

  3. Ndanu!!! This is beyond amazing…great writing and most importantly, you spoke candidly what many of us shy away from. God bless you and enyewe, let us keep encouraging each other as we walk this purity walk 🙂

  4. You are soo true n yu are not insane.I have been there but cant allow sex to be the routine of my life.I have left soo many dudes coz all they want wen i converse wid them is sex n i am not ready for it till marriage.Av been single too n even tired of mingling but i know n truly believe that God is working it out there for me.Keep up girl.

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